dictionaryofobscuresorrows: adj. entranced and unsettled by the vastness of the universe, experienced in a jolt of recognition that the night sky is not just a wallpaper but a deeply foreign ocean whose currents are steadily carrying off all other castaways, who share our predicament but are already well out of earshot—worlds and stars who would’ve been lost entirely except for the scrap of...
dictionaryofobscuresorrows: n. the exhilarating dread of finally pursuing a lifelong dream, which requires you to put your true abilities out there to be tested on the open savannah, no longer protected inside the terrarium of hopes and delusions that you created in kindergarten and kept sealed as long as you could, only to break in case of emergency.
dictionaryofobscuresorrows: n. a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smoldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire.
obliteratedheart: ambedo n. a kind of melacholic trance in which you become completely absorbed in vivid sensory details—raindrops skittering down a window, tall trees leaning in the wind, clouds of cream swirling in your coffee—which leads to a dawning awareness of the haunting fragility of life
I had a dream
that you came back, and everything was okay I woke up with nobody next to me and in tears. I really wish I could erase every instance of you from my memory.
We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all...– Aldous Huxley, The Doors of Perception
The last time I blasted off on DMT, I found myself in the Forest Temple of Ocarina of Time. It was so ineffable and beautiful. I want to go there again.